It's 4am in the morning. I just cant get to sleep. Ever since i broke up with Alvin, i am afraid to sleep in the dark. The bed seems so spacious now. And my pillow seems so little. I kinda miss the hug i always get when I hop into my queen size bed with him in it. Feel cold now without his arm around me. But this is the decisions that i had make. And i must bear through it.

I miss the maggie mee he cook..
I miss how he hug me..
I miss how he hold me in his arm..
But ultimately, i miss my freedom before I am with him.

What should i do when i feel lousy? I already tried eating steamboat as usual. But this time alround, it does not work. It's just like taking a lift up high floor at a high speed.. My heart sinked.

I dont want to leave where I am standing now. But then again, do i have a choice? Even if i do have a choice, do i have what it takes to protect what i want and the person I loved? Am I up to the standard I think I have?