Silently through all the days

my heart aches cause you are not here

Took for granted you will be there

I never showed I cared

and now you are only in my dreams

All the time could never heal

What I have lost and what I feel

You were taken far away

and now it’s just too late

and fate has sealed my destiny

Sadness cuts my heart so deep

What a life it could’ve been

By myself in disbelief with misery and grief

this never was supposed to be

it had been raining for ages and ages. i'm tucked cosily in my own bed with my lap top with me. don't really feel like blogging any entry as my right arm is aching again and my right knee is giving me problem this few days. i think i will be half-body paralyse soon.(all aches on the right side) but it just feel so good when i'm at home safely, watching all the people running to the nearest void deck for shelter. i remember all the days when me and friends were under the rain playing happily, didnt even realise that people can see through our wet uniform. (come to think of it, no wonder i fell sick easily in those days) i think all i want to do is to get home quick if it rains now. no besties to play punk in the rain with me, no buddies to play slapping-hand-hard games with me and no bitches to bitch around with me in the school. guess i'm still not use to the boring and no-life ITE school life.

my arm is aching badly now. and my shooting skill are failing me when the competition is just round the corner. i feel so down and disappointed with myself. i cant accept another failure again. i had lose and i am sure i dont like the feeling of losing. people kept telling me that life is bond to have lose and winning. and i really meant telling. if somebody lose, i will say the same thing to them. but if you are the one who really lose, will you think the same? i dont think so. damn.. it's aching again. i had let my friends down. i broke a promise that i promised. i had done something that i hate most. breaking the god-damn promise. another disappointment. please dont make me promise any thing. and dont give me promises when you are going to break it.