really hate the life i am having right now. why cant i to be the one who are capable of controling everything? i realise when i turn back to the path i've walked, the people i thought i known, changed. people i thought i can rely on, turned their back. i am lost in my own world. unable to get out. i am lost in my dream. unable to wake up. i am not holding back my tears. just tired of tearing. i disparage others and think too higly of myself. thinking i can find the way myself. thinking i can do what others cant. apparantly, i am thinking too much. i am just someone that are insignificant and debilitated.

how can i forget the things that you did when all you do is keep me reminded? why do you always appear infont of me when i decided to forget what i been through with you. i cant help but feel that i will be haunt by you forever. it is just like a curse that follow me wherever i go. i seriously didnt know you had such a impact. what an insult to me. always thought that i can handle everything but eventually when things link to you, i lose. totally lose to myself. and it's really an insult to admit you really meant(notice: past tense) alot to me. and it's really a torture to even see you. to see you moving on in your live and here i am, stuck in a past and memories that i really hate. it really annoys me! fuck!