a little role explaination before moving on:
top left to right:simei as little devil, derrick as reaper, dan as dracula, night safari guy as dracula no. 2, jason as scream.
bottom left to right:kerxing as japanese kimono girl, me as pirate.
just have time to check my mail and the halloween pictures are out. yeah!! audrey did a happy dance! on the 25th october, kerxing, dan, jason, derrick, simin and i went to the night safari for their early halloween night. we went there all dress up to realise in shock that we're the only visitors that are so crazy into this thing.. -_- oh well.. this is singapore. what to expect? not all singaporean are as enthusiatic as us. what to do? just enjoy the night! jason the scream is so busy taking photo once he reach the zoo. lol. guess scream is the most in thing at halloween *audrey the pirate weeped. let's let the pictures do all the talking now.
the legendary batman car. (parked at beach road??!!)
taken with the crew member at night safari. the lady in red is sooo scary.
taking a photo before going on the journey.
all black and one red.
pirate bullying the kimono girl. hur hur hur
scream lost to a...pirate..?
bridge of hell! a road of no return~!!!
how many toilet roll did he use??!!
group photo with a crew.. the poison ivy. is "she" a he or she?
dont sneak up on me! ar bish!
that baby boy is so adorable! and he smell nice too.. yum. lol!
aye mate! ya a pilot? me a pirate!
!!?? kerxing!! keRXING!what's tt thing coming up at you!!
*this is the last day we saw kerxing. lol. (kidding)
if you ask other's to get it for you, dont hurry that someone.
if you hurried that someone, dont expect him/her to face you with a smile.
if you expect him/her to face you with a smile, dont be ungrateful to the things
he/her did. cause THAT someone is not your errand boy. and he/her did not get paid to do all these stuff for you. receive it with thanks and not with a ungrateful
face. no one owns you anything in this world and neither do we. so dont give me that
attitude face of your's. i dont take it.
rest in peace, camera, you will be remembered by me always.
R.I.P
here lies the body of audrey's camera
year 2006~2008
lack shopping, lack in nutritent, lack in time..
ok.. i redo-ing the whole of my blog. i know that i took a super long time to do it. cause i really really X 100 have no time to do it. argh! wish that i have 48 hours a day instead of 24. people who had been asking me to update my blog, ya, i'm sorry. *laugh. please give me sometime to finish this damn thing. i do it from scretch. all the cursor and border and colour and every other shit things. but.. i stole the picture from the net. *evil laugh.
One must learn how to let go.
One must learn how to move on.
One must never let the past to bother you.
golden rules that i kept telling others. but why cant i do the same? i am tryin hard to move on. i feel like i am swimming in a sea of cement. i have to keep swimming so that i wont stuck in it. but as the time goes by, it started to be more and more tedious. no idea when will it dry up. should i stop swimming?
really hate the life i am having right now. why cant i to be the one who are capable of controling everything? i realise when i turn back to the path i've walked, the people i thought i known, changed. people i thought i can rely on, turned their back. i am lost in my own world. unable to get out. i am lost in my dream. unable to wake up. i am not holding back my tears. just tired of tearing. i disparage others and think too higly of myself. thinking i can find the way myself. thinking i can do what others cant. apparantly, i am thinking too much. i am just someone that are insignificant and debilitated.
manage to recover two picture during my reformatting..
why is it so hard to savage this? is there really nothing i could do? or is there anything i CAN do? why is it draining off all my energy without me noticing? it is hard to savage. but it is harder to abandon it.
i hate all this. really hated it. hate my mask, hate myself, hate to put on a smile to everyone, hate to put up a strong front, hate being optimistic, hate the cheerful me, hate the long hair me, hate mine everything. just hate it. ever waking up in the morning thinking who you really are? i am sick and tired of being what people wanted me to be. i just want to be myself for one second. just want to be my cry baby self. just want to cry out loud. just want to throw tantrum. i just need someone who are willing to listen to all this. someone who accept me for who i am. not who they want me to be.
this blog is for someone who doest treat my beloved friend as friends. and for people who doest cherish what they have. people who dont behave like human doesnt fit to be treated like one.
never let go of someone that you love. never think that you will get him back again even though you let go of him. never regret something that you know you had done wrong. never to be too sure of yourself. never think too highly of yourself and think that he will forever stay beside you.
never say never again after what i had learn.
okie.. whatever.. school had reopen and i cant get use to the life of getting up early for school. 6 in the morning is too much for me. i usually sleep 7 am in the holidays. a switch like this can easily kill me and my complexion. school is a torture and pe is hell. climbing up and down of the stairs and running round the stadium is not a very good idea of training the students up. well.. that is an opinion of a student (yea yea me!! that student). all these dumb training had cause a lot of student having muscle ache in the next morning. yea. that is what i am having RIGHT NOW.
My internet is freaking down again because i didnt pay the bills. the only time i can get to blog is to secretly use my neighbour's internet or blogging in school. yea, dont ask me why i never pay my bills because i got no money to pay. (like duh?!) got so many debts to clear before thinking of getting back my internet to work again. top of the list will be forking out 25 bucks for my up coming NUS shoot. think of not to join but i so wanted to.. second on my list is to pay back my fren the sum of money she loan me. third, will be payin my phone bills. ever heard of handphone spoiling the day line being disrupted? can anyone get any more unfortunate then me? so even if i get my line working, i may not be able to pick up calls. like wise.. oh ya, and 25 bucks for class chalet too.. my god..
With so many things on my "paying list", when will i be able to get my internet up running again? so next time when you guys run into me, dont ask about my internet! *audrey laugh and walk away..
alright.. i admit that i got very bad EQ can? i just cant seems to manage my friendship well(i think..). it seems like everyday i am getting everyone around me angry. without noticing it myself. oh fuck.. can you all just tell me what happen if i somehow got you angry? because this is so uncomfortable thinking that your good friend might be angry with you and you doesnt even know it!! i hope that what you say are true. that you are not angry.. because if you really are, i think i maybe suffering from some lag illness.
oh yea, this is some picture we took during our outing~! theCBG!
school had just reopen and i get myself into a mess.. changing a new look may seems like a good idea. but when changing look became spoiling your hair and making you look like some kinda idiot is not a good idea after all.. my perm is so bad that i nearly ask for a one month MC just to shut myself from the world. my hair is making me so paranoid that even when people was laughing, i think they are laughing at my hilarious hairdo. my god! why am i getting myself into such humiliation? why do i have to make my own life so miserable? maybe i should look at a brighter side. now that i had perm my hair, i can have an extra cushioning to my head when sleeping.. or maybe i can tied my hair to whatever hair style i like now? great.. roll eyes.. i should start to rent that Korea drama goong and see how the female lead tied her hair.
okie.. i have tried my best to be the miss nice-girl here but i just cant seems to walk out of the miss meanie name. damn it.. alright.. i admit that i dont quite like "some people" in my class can? but cant expect me to like him/she all right? i had tried my best and it is starting to improve. although i may shoot them the i-hate-you look. but that doesnt mean that i am mean can? it's just that, i cant really stand it already! and i am just being true to myself. audrey roll eyes again. whatever..
oh ya! and i am so damn happy that eli finally transfer to my class!! yea!! this is the most happy things that i have encounter ever since school reopens. (anyway i have been bumping into lots of shit lately..)
i realise that it had been a long time before i went to east coast park today. still remember that secondary school, east coast use to be my second home. quite reluctant to go actually.. but end up to be fun. maybe it is time to dump the past behind.
have you ever eaten 3 stick of satay for ten bucks? i do..
well well, some great and noble person said that study and play must happen at the same time right? (erm.. audrey, who is that noble people you are talking about?) ah! never mind who said that! but we sure had a lot of fun!
in case you are not sure what are we doing, we are trying to snatch the food in front of us. and yes.. it is an empty cuo noodle.. -_- and poor kx and eli had to act greedy with me. lol! other then eating while study, we must do some exercise to wake ourself up.
okie.. we NG alot of time can? we cant help but bust out laughing at how many times we had NG. (my mum must be wondering how come she feel earthquake) and i admit that we had took a quite long break. and it's time to ... study!......(nothing to be happy about) 
and is a little(is very can!?) messy on the table. papers and all around. simplex.. duplex.. FM.. AM.. PM.. OSI.. arg..! oh fuck! cannot get in.. so gonna die.. well well.. did some noble man said that besties will tide you over whatever hardship you had? (alright.. i really want to meet that noble man..)
and hopefully we will remember the so call date in 2009.
teacher or "insulter"?
who can be more hypocrite then our very own teacher? not to say all, but sad to sad, almost all. stop giving me that "i care for you" look when all i can see is "i care for my pay slip" face. stop telling us with your lame and un-interesting story of how you get up early in the morning and come to school even though you are tired. because THAT'S YOUR JOB. you are paid to do so, so stop complaining and nagging. dont telling me how hard you tried to help us even if we dont use our brain(quote word by word by someone who teaches me). and if we really know how to do the question, we dont need you. quit reminding us that we ARE already ite student, we should use more brain. if not, i have to remind you that you are JUST a ite teacher. and you will aways only a ite teacher. get it? sometimes i wonder, how could someone with a english standard like you be a teacher? i really wonder. or because they pity you? that's why they hired someone like you to be a teacher. highly possible.
thanks for saying nice things to me. even though they are not from your heart. thanks for trying your best to be nice to me although you dont feel like to. i wonder, since when did our friendship turn sour. is it because of me? or is it you? i am confuse. sometimes you seems so nice, but yet, sometimes, your words are so cruel. which of you should i believe in? i am confused by your words. which sentance should i believe?
all of you seems to be so different. so different that it scared me. cause it all happen in one day. is that what you all use to be? maybe i did not see clearly right from the start i knew all of you. but now i am seeing clearer and clearer. i choose not to believe what i see. i choose to act ignorance. i choose to blind myself in laughter everytime i see the ugly sight. to stop myself for loathing something i adore most before. to stop the history for repeating..
living in shadows and fear. living in sorrow. living in a cycle that keep repeating. even if it cost everything, i wont let you win. i wont let you take away things that is MINE. you are not me and you will never be able to be me.
why is it so hard to maintain the friendster between us? i never know maintaining this friendship is so hard and tiring. i feel like giving up. i tried and tried to do anything that can help. but it doesnt work. in fact, it is getting worse. damn it. i so piss off. i am giving up now. stop asking me why. whatever i do, it does not help at all. i feel like i sm the only side that are maintaining this. fuck.. i am wasting my time. all this are only one sided. if he doesnt care, why should i? shut up and buzz off. i hate the sight of you and it is irritating me. just fuck off!
Silently through all the days
my heart aches cause you are not here
Took for granted you will be there
I never showed I cared
and now you are only in my dreams
All the time could never heal
What I have lost and what I feel
You were taken far away
and now it’s just too late
and fate has sealed my destiny
Sadness cuts my heart so deep
What a life it could’ve been
By myself in disbelief with misery and grief
this never was supposed to be
rain
it had been raining for ages and ages. i'm tucked cosily in my own bed with my lap top with me. don't really feel like blogging any entry as my right arm is aching again and my right knee is giving me problem this few days. i think i will be half-body paralyse soon.(all aches on the right side) but it just feel so good when i'm at home safely, watching all the people running to the nearest void deck for shelter. i remember all the days when me and friends were under the rain playing happily, didnt even realise that people can see through our wet uniform. (come to think of it, no wonder i fell sick easily in those days) i think all i want to do is to get home quick if it rains now. no besties to play punk in the rain with me, no buddies to play slapping-hand-hard games with me and no bitches to bitch around with me in the school. guess i'm still not use to the boring and no-life ITE school life.
disappointment
my arm is aching badly now. and my shooting skill are failing me when the competition is just round the corner. i feel so down and disappointed with myself. i cant accept another failure again. i had lose and i am sure i dont like the feeling of losing. people kept telling me that life is bond to have lose and winning. and i really meant telling. if somebody lose, i will say the same thing to them. but if you are the one who really lose, will you think the same? i dont think so. damn.. it's aching again. i had let my friends down. i broke a promise that i promised. i had done something that i hate most. breaking the god-damn promise. another disappointment. please dont make me promise any thing. and dont give me promises when you are going to break it.
update
okie.. i am tired. let the photo do all e talking ya? we went to laguna and have fun!
is she fren? or is she trying to drown her?
answer: best fren~!
striaght out of the movie?
celebrating my birthday at changi and waraku!
and of course, during my normal schooling days.
outing with my schoolmate.
and damn it. it is already 5:13am in the morning. i had beed re-doing this blog for several times due to the poor connection of my neighbour. (shh.. i am stealing internet access from next door. hurhurhur~ *evil laghter)
confuse..
confuse.. do i like you? i am afraid that i might do the wrong decision again. and again, i all hurt myself. and again, i hurt someone. been telling myself that love grows. but apparently, it does not. why do people had to make decision? why cant i just slack around and let fate do all the decision making? i am tired. tired of being loved. tired of loving someone. tired of everything that had been and happening in my life. life does not suck. but it is just tiring. so tiring that sometimes, it just drain out all my energy. energy for me to love someone. energy for me to think. still remembering the first time that i fell in love. excited and it feels so good that i wanted to fall in love again. but why do i feel so suffocating now?
out-of-job
officially out of job as a sales girl now. damn it.. how long have i been working in this line? i think i have turned rusty after i quitted silvertouch. or shall i say i dont have to handle the relationship between colleagues when working in silvertouch. i just couldnt get use to life sitting around in the shop doing nothing but gossiping about what a hunk the customer is or what a bitch his girlfriend is. just because i am a new girl doesnt give 'em a chance to toss every of the hardwork to me. i am sick and tired of going to work everyday, talking to a butch of sickening boot-licker. i had no choice. i had to quit. i had to get the hell out of there asap.
sickening
i miss..
i cant seems to catch up. everyone is moving forward except for me. i am so lack behind in studies that i wonder i should continue or not. i miss my old school. i miss my friends. i miss my teacher. i miss the laughter we use to have in the class. i regretted saying you crap too much, Ms Syafeena. Mrs Foo, i regretted saying your unpresentable armpit hair and refuse to attend your lesson. Mdm tami Mohan, i am sorry that i say you are a indian rapper. the teacher i have now is so much lousier then you all are. they are monotoned, retarded and so un-fun. what's worst? he is really suck at telling a joke. now i would love to have a teacher that raps, a teacher whom we can laugh at, a teacher that will crap with us.
dearest mingyueh, i am sorry that i always made fun of you when you speak perfect english. but though you speak perfect english, you will never laugh at me for being a neighbourhood school student and you taught me how to pronouce them well. chorpeng, jackson and gang, sorry for scolding you guys noisy. thanks for making our class full of laughter. guanjie, i regretted thinking you are nosey when you care so much more then anyone else for me. thanks for not forgetting the blur me and encourage me through my hardest time. so sorry weilong, for giving you so much trouble at studies. you never stop waking me up when i fell deep into a non-studying mood. yet in the past, i thought you always loved to force us study. you guys are so much more understanding then some of my friends here. you guys will never despise me just because i am from a neighbourhood school or just because i dont understand any of the thing that Mr yip says.
the school is never so big in the past. i dont have to run from classes to classes to make it on time. i dont have to late for class just because the lift is full. and i dont have to look for seats in the canteen. i miss you, bedok north sec! i regretted saying you a non-capable(wu neng) school. i regret hoping that you are bigger then what you are now. and i regretted think of suggesting lift in the school.
one will only missed the thing when they lost it. why? because we know we will never be able to get it back.
neighbourhood school
so what if you are from a really good girl's school? so what if you are well mannered at home but suck at attitude towards your classmate. dont bloody bullshit with me how "high class" your secondary school use to be as we all are now the same school. if your secondary school was so bloody damn good, why are you here in ite? just scram if you are so unhappy about sitting in a class of ex-neighbourhood secondary school. dont go around complaining we speak poor english act as if you know none of the mandarin we spoke. you are a chinese.
article about the disease boresome
long long time ago, in the east side of singapore, lies the legendary NC0604D. people were often found death due to bore. at that point of time, boresome are consider an incurable disease. the cause of this disease were mainly due to monotoned lecturer and un-understandable machines. picture below were taken by photographer: audrey, anggerek.
there are some of the death's picture. picture below may bring indispose. children are advise to watch with their parents.
but now, the cure of this disease had been found. with the help of sequence photo shot and a normal camera phone, people in NC0604D dare to step into the class even with Mr John Yip in.
reported by: audrey
raining day..
open the window and let the cold wind blow in. feeling the rain drop on my palm. so cooling.. so calm.. i always does not have the chance to feel the rain like this. when it start to rain, i will run and seek shelter. didnt know that the rain feel like this. didnt know that the wind is so gentler. not until i sit down in my room to feel them. right now.
slacking at home today after school.. tired and shag. got p.e to day and we gotta run the field two rounds. it had been quite sometimes before i run like this. four months? or half a year. either one. dashing like there are a sale somewhere out there. first girl in class but last in boys. doesnt want to lose to those guys but, who can win a guy rite? damn it.. hope that i had been training in the long holidays. regret
walked home from bedok interchange make me feel that everytime i took a bus, the 65cents(adult fare) is worth the money. dash through the express way with cars horning at me. thanks to hongyun n gang. and you! yes you! anggerek! yes! dont hide! i know you are reading this~ forgetful and blur! never return me the money. i treat this as a slimming lesson in anggerek hood & hongyun center. cost per session? o cents
trying hard to undestand what the monotoned teacher is trying to say, i failed. again. okie, i admit i suck in physic. but why must we still take science in ITE!!??
lessons
not really the first lesson but at least i learn something ever since i started school. but, circuit design rocks~! although i cannot really connect the wires correctly, but it is way too cool man~ love this course.. wonder why girls hate this course. but they are only five girls in my class. can you imagine that? i'm lucky that i am not the out casted girl. but seriously speaking, our guy are more hyper den the girls. and of course, more out going. the girls in my class were like so dead. feel like i am in the movie of house of the living dead 5. one girl even looked like she is gonna cry out anytime, anywhere. girl 2: always with a nerdy guy. seriously speaking, i dont really remember much of our class people name. i remember the name, forget the face. or the other way round. laugh
a trip to zoo
they were so tired that they slept through the whole mrt trip.doesnt care about wat the public sees. three sleep bugs and one book bug.
finally, we reached the entrance. a real one or..?
snapped..
just a reminder, peeing is not allow in pool..
is there food for me?
baabaa~~
zzz...
what is the different? the donkey or an ass? answer: Donkey=ass
squirrel caught in act
resting time~!! me and mikey
my prince charming?? (bai me wang zi) =>
how many human make up one polar bear??
class chalet
thought after the graduation we can gather for reunion. but frankly speaking, the chalet was a total failure. the only stupid chinese girl who went to that fucking chalet were kitmun, clarissa and me. and i really mean chinese girl.. not being an anti-social over here, but we felt out-casted and used. i think the only reason and purpose they invite us was to help them shoulder the fee of the chalet. the whole chalet we were sitting there rotting like no people business. on top of that, we have people accusing us of stealing his lousy phone, N70. dame it.. just because we went out during the class chalet doesnt give them the excuse to treat us like thieves. if cannot drink so much, dont drink. and when you are drunk, dont say people stole your phone when you are drunk. shit
somehow or other, i felt that everyone around me had changed. including me. i hate to hear from people about how people change and how i had change using that damn stupid watery and dreamy eyes. i had changed.. ya.. whatever.. *roll eyes.. of course people changed. come on! it is not like i am going to stuck forever in my old and childish character and child like body right? imagine a 18 years old girl with a height of 1.65m (ya.. that's me) bothering her mother for bring her to school and buying her sweets. or running around in the neighbourhood block playing block catching. people DO grow up. dont speak to me about how i used to be cheerful and fun loving.. i am still cheerful and fun loving ya? it is just depending on who i am with. if you are not fun loving, then pardon me for not being one.
being birth at 1988 december 14
17 years old is a boring age. why? cause unlike 16 years old which i get to watch nc 16 show, i cant watch m18 show. get it? (who will understand..) okie.. to put it simper, i cant watch m18 show yet.
i had to wait one more year (estimated) before i am 18 although i am born in 1988. damn.. if i had to sign my own starhub line or whatsoever, i had to wait like crazy.. what is the biggest regret? i had to wait till the end of year before i can go clubbing using my own i/c.
but what is the good point about being born at the end of year? you wont get sabotage by friends in school and you dont have to go to school on your birthday. laugh.
