why do all the people getting hurt from it?
if love is a suffering,
why do all people desire it?
in order to be blessed and free of suffering is to be someone who dont need them.
One must learn how to let go.
One must learn how to move on.
One must never let the past to bother you.
golden rules that i kept telling others. but why cant i do the same? i am tryin hard to move on. i feel like i am swimming in a sea of cement. i have to keep swimming so that i wont stuck in it. but as the time goes by, it started to be more and more tedious. no idea when will it dry up. should i stop swimming?
really hate the life i am having right now. why cant i to be the one who are capable of controling everything? i realise when i turn back to the path i've walked, the people i thought i known, changed. people i thought i can rely on, turned their back. i am lost in my own world. unable to get out. i am lost in my dream. unable to wake up. i am not holding back my tears. just tired of tearing. i disparage others and think too higly of myself. thinking i can find the way myself. thinking i can do what others cant. apparantly, i am thinking too much. i am just someone that are insignificant and debilitated.
manage to recover two picture during my reformatting..
why is it so hard to savage this? is there really nothing i could do? or is there anything i CAN do? why is it draining off all my energy without me noticing? it is hard to savage. but it is harder to abandon it.
i hate all this. really hated it. hate my mask, hate myself, hate to put on a smile to everyone, hate to put up a strong front, hate being optimistic, hate the cheerful me, hate the long hair me, hate mine everything. just hate it. ever waking up in the morning thinking who you really are? i am sick and tired of being what people wanted me to be. i just want to be myself for one second. just want to be my cry baby self. just want to cry out loud. just want to throw tantrum. i just need someone who are willing to listen to all this. someone who accept me for who i am. not who they want me to be.
this blog is for someone who doest treat my beloved friend as friends. and for people who doest cherish what they have. people who dont behave like human doesnt fit to be treated like one.
never let go of someone that you love. never think that you will get him back again even though you let go of him. never regret something that you know you had done wrong. never to be too sure of yourself. never think too highly of yourself and think that he will forever stay beside you.
never say never again after what i had learn.
okie.. whatever.. school had reopen and i cant get use to the life of getting up early for school. 6 in the morning is too much for me. i usually sleep 7 am in the holidays. a switch like this can easily kill me and my complexion. school is a torture and pe is hell. climbing up and down of the stairs and running round the stadium is not a very good idea of training the students up. well.. that is an opinion of a student (yea yea me!! that student). all these dumb training had cause a lot of student having muscle ache in the next morning. yea. that is what i am having RIGHT NOW.
My internet is freaking down again because i didnt pay the bills. the only time i can get to blog is to secretly use my neighbour's internet or blogging in school. yea, dont ask me why i never pay my bills because i got no money to pay. (like duh?!) got so many debts to clear before thinking of getting back my internet to work again. top of the list will be forking out 25 bucks for my up coming NUS shoot. think of not to join but i so wanted to.. second on my list is to pay back my fren the sum of money she loan me. third, will be payin my phone bills. ever heard of handphone spoiling the day line being disrupted? can anyone get any more unfortunate then me? so even if i get my line working, i may not be able to pick up calls. like wise.. oh ya, and 25 bucks for class chalet too.. my god..
With so many things on my "paying list", when will i be able to get my internet up running again? so next time when you guys run into me, dont ask about my internet! *audrey laugh and walk away..
alright.. i admit that i got very bad EQ can? i just cant seems to manage my friendship well(i think..). it seems like everyday i am getting everyone around me angry. without noticing it myself. oh fuck.. can you all just tell me what happen if i somehow got you angry? because this is so uncomfortable thinking that your good friend might be angry with you and you doesnt even know it!! i hope that what you say are true. that you are not angry.. because if you really are, i think i maybe suffering from some lag illness.
oh yea, this is some picture we took during our outing~! theCBG!
school had just reopen and i get myself into a mess.. changing a new look may seems like a good idea. but when changing look became spoiling your hair and making you look like some kinda idiot is not a good idea after all.. my perm is so bad that i nearly ask for a one month MC just to shut myself from the world. my hair is making me so paranoid that even when people was laughing, i think they are laughing at my hilarious hairdo. my god! why am i getting myself into such humiliation? why do i have to make my own life so miserable? maybe i should look at a brighter side. now that i had perm my hair, i can have an extra cushioning to my head when sleeping.. or maybe i can tied my hair to whatever hair style i like now? great.. roll eyes.. i should start to rent that Korea drama goong and see how the female lead tied her hair.
okie.. i have tried my best to be the miss nice-girl here but i just cant seems to walk out of the miss meanie name. damn it.. alright.. i admit that i dont quite like "some people" in my class can? but cant expect me to like him/she all right? i had tried my best and it is starting to improve. although i may shoot them the i-hate-you look. but that doesnt mean that i am mean can? it's just that, i cant really stand it already! and i am just being true to myself. audrey roll eyes again. whatever..
oh ya! and i am so damn happy that eli finally transfer to my class!! yea!! this is the most happy things that i have encounter ever since school reopens. (anyway i have been bumping into lots of shit lately..)
i realise that it had been a long time before i went to east coast park today. still remember that secondary school, east coast use to be my second home. quite reluctant to go actually.. but end up to be fun. maybe it is time to dump the past behind.
have you ever eaten 3 stick of satay for ten bucks? i do..
well well, some great and noble person said that study and play must happen at the same time right? (erm.. audrey, who is that noble people you are talking about?) ah! never mind who said that! but we sure had a lot of fun!
in case you are not sure what are we doing, we are trying to snatch the food in front of us. and yes.. it is an empty cuo noodle.. -_- and poor kx and eli had to act greedy with me. lol! other then eating while study, we must do some exercise to wake ourself up.
okie.. we NG alot of time can? we cant help but bust out laughing at how many times we had NG. (my mum must be wondering how come she feel earthquake) and i admit that we had took a quite long break. and it's time to ... study!......(nothing to be happy about) 
and is a little(is very can!?) messy on the table. papers and all around. simplex.. duplex.. FM.. AM.. PM.. OSI.. arg..! oh fuck! cannot get in.. so gonna die.. well well.. did some noble man said that besties will tide you over whatever hardship you had? (alright.. i really want to meet that noble man..)
and hopefully we will remember the so call date in 2009.
teacher or "insulter"?
who can be more hypocrite then our very own teacher? not to say all, but sad to sad, almost all. stop giving me that "i care for you" look when all i can see is "i care for my pay slip" face. stop telling us with your lame and un-interesting story of how you get up early in the morning and come to school even though you are tired. because THAT'S YOUR JOB. you are paid to do so, so stop complaining and nagging. dont telling me how hard you tried to help us even if we dont use our brain(quote word by word by someone who teaches me). and if we really know how to do the question, we dont need you. quit reminding us that we ARE already ite student, we should use more brain. if not, i have to remind you that you are JUST a ite teacher. and you will aways only a ite teacher. get it? sometimes i wonder, how could someone with a english standard like you be a teacher? i really wonder. or because they pity you? that's why they hired someone like you to be a teacher. highly possible.
thanks for saying nice things to me. even though they are not from your heart. thanks for trying your best to be nice to me although you dont feel like to. i wonder, since when did our friendship turn sour. is it because of me? or is it you? i am confuse. sometimes you seems so nice, but yet, sometimes, your words are so cruel. which of you should i believe in? i am confused by your words. which sentance should i believe?
all of you seems to be so different. so different that it scared me. cause it all happen in one day. is that what you all use to be? maybe i did not see clearly right from the start i knew all of you. but now i am seeing clearer and clearer. i choose not to believe what i see. i choose to act ignorance. i choose to blind myself in laughter everytime i see the ugly sight. to stop myself for loathing something i adore most before. to stop the history for repeating..
living in shadows and fear. living in sorrow. living in a cycle that keep repeating. even if it cost everything, i wont let you win. i wont let you take away things that is MINE. you are not me and you will never be able to be me.
why is it so hard to maintain the friendster between us? i never know maintaining this friendship is so hard and tiring. i feel like giving up. i tried and tried to do anything that can help. but it doesnt work. in fact, it is getting worse. damn it. i so piss off. i am giving up now. stop asking me why. whatever i do, it does not help at all. i feel like i sm the only side that are maintaining this. fuck.. i am wasting my time. all this are only one sided. if he doesnt care, why should i? shut up and buzz off. i hate the sight of you and it is irritating me. just fuck off!
Silently through all the days
my heart aches cause you are not here
Took for granted you will be there
I never showed I cared
and now you are only in my dreams
All the time could never heal
What I have lost and what I feel
You were taken far away
and now it’s just too late
and fate has sealed my destiny
Sadness cuts my heart so deep
What a life it could’ve been
By myself in disbelief with misery and grief
this never was supposed to be
rain
it had been raining for ages and ages. i'm tucked cosily in my own bed with my lap top with me. don't really feel like blogging any entry as my right arm is aching again and my right knee is giving me problem this few days. i think i will be half-body paralyse soon.(all aches on the right side) but it just feel so good when i'm at home safely, watching all the people running to the nearest void deck for shelter. i remember all the days when me and friends were under the rain playing happily, didnt even realise that people can see through our wet uniform. (come to think of it, no wonder i fell sick easily in those days) i think all i want to do is to get home quick if it rains now. no besties to play punk in the rain with me, no buddies to play slapping-hand-hard games with me and no bitches to bitch around with me in the school. guess i'm still not use to the boring and no-life ITE school life.
disappointment
my arm is aching badly now. and my shooting skill are failing me when the competition is just round the corner. i feel so down and disappointed with myself. i cant accept another failure again. i had lose and i am sure i dont like the feeling of losing. people kept telling me that life is bond to have lose and winning. and i really meant telling. if somebody lose, i will say the same thing to them. but if you are the one who really lose, will you think the same? i dont think so. damn.. it's aching again. i had let my friends down. i broke a promise that i promised. i had done something that i hate most. breaking the god-damn promise. another disappointment. please dont make me promise any thing. and dont give me promises when you are going to break it.
update
okie.. i am tired. let the photo do all e talking ya? we went to laguna and have fun!
is she fren? or is she trying to drown her?
answer: best fren~!
striaght out of the movie?
celebrating my birthday at changi and waraku!
and of course, during my normal schooling days.
outing with my schoolmate.
and damn it. it is already 5:13am in the morning. i had beed re-doing this blog for several times due to the poor connection of my neighbour. (shh.. i am stealing internet access from next door. hurhurhur~ *evil laghter)
confuse..
confuse.. do i like you? i am afraid that i might do the wrong decision again. and again, i all hurt myself. and again, i hurt someone. been telling myself that love grows. but apparently, it does not. why do people had to make decision? why cant i just slack around and let fate do all the decision making? i am tired. tired of being loved. tired of loving someone. tired of everything that had been and happening in my life. life does not suck. but it is just tiring. so tiring that sometimes, it just drain out all my energy. energy for me to love someone. energy for me to think. still remembering the first time that i fell in love. excited and it feels so good that i wanted to fall in love again. but why do i feel so suffocating now?
out-of-job
officially out of job as a sales girl now. damn it.. how long have i been working in this line? i think i have turned rusty after i quitted silvertouch. or shall i say i dont have to handle the relationship between colleagues when working in silvertouch. i just couldnt get use to life sitting around in the shop doing nothing but gossiping about what a hunk the customer is or what a bitch his girlfriend is. just because i am a new girl doesnt give 'em a chance to toss every of the hardwork to me. i am sick and tired of going to work everyday, talking to a butch of sickening boot-licker. i had no choice. i had to quit. i had to get the hell out of there asap.
sickening
i miss..
i cant seems to catch up. everyone is moving forward except for me. i am so lack behind in studies that i wonder i should continue or not. i miss my old school. i miss my friends. i miss my teacher. i miss the laughter we use to have in the class. i regretted saying you crap too much, Ms Syafeena. Mrs Foo, i regretted saying your unpresentable armpit hair and refuse to attend your lesson. Mdm tami Mohan, i am sorry that i say you are a indian rapper. the teacher i have now is so much lousier then you all are. they are monotoned, retarded and so un-fun. what's worst? he is really suck at telling a joke. now i would love to have a teacher that raps, a teacher whom we can laugh at, a teacher that will crap with us.
dearest mingyueh, i am sorry that i always made fun of you when you speak perfect english. but though you speak perfect english, you will never laugh at me for being a neighbourhood school student and you taught me how to pronouce them well. chorpeng, jackson and gang, sorry for scolding you guys noisy. thanks for making our class full of laughter. guanjie, i regretted thinking you are nosey when you care so much more then anyone else for me. thanks for not forgetting the blur me and encourage me through my hardest time. so sorry weilong, for giving you so much trouble at studies. you never stop waking me up when i fell deep into a non-studying mood. yet in the past, i thought you always loved to force us study. you guys are so much more understanding then some of my friends here. you guys will never despise me just because i am from a neighbourhood school or just because i dont understand any of the thing that Mr yip says.
the school is never so big in the past. i dont have to run from classes to classes to make it on time. i dont have to late for class just because the lift is full. and i dont have to look for seats in the canteen. i miss you, bedok north sec! i regretted saying you a non-capable(wu neng) school. i regret hoping that you are bigger then what you are now. and i regretted think of suggesting lift in the school.
one will only missed the thing when they lost it. why? because we know we will never be able to get it back.
neighbourhood school
so what if you are from a really good girl's school? so what if you are well mannered at home but suck at attitude towards your classmate. dont bloody bullshit with me how "high class" your secondary school use to be as we all are now the same school. if your secondary school was so bloody damn good, why are you here in ite? just scram if you are so unhappy about sitting in a class of ex-neighbourhood secondary school. dont go around complaining we speak poor english act as if you know none of the mandarin we spoke. you are a chinese.
article about the disease boresome
long long time ago, in the east side of singapore, lies the legendary NC0604D. people were often found death due to bore. at that point of time, boresome are consider an incurable disease. the cause of this disease were mainly due to monotoned lecturer and un-understandable machines. picture below were taken by photographer: audrey, anggerek.
there are some of the death's picture. picture below may bring indispose. children are advise to watch with their parents.
but now, the cure of this disease had been found. with the help of sequence photo shot and a normal camera phone, people in NC0604D dare to step into the class even with Mr John Yip in.
reported by: audrey
raining day..
open the window and let the cold wind blow in. feeling the rain drop on my palm. so cooling.. so calm.. i always does not have the chance to feel the rain like this. when it start to rain, i will run and seek shelter. didnt know that the rain feel like this. didnt know that the wind is so gentler. not until i sit down in my room to feel them. right now.
slacking at home today after school.. tired and shag. got p.e to day and we gotta run the field two rounds. it had been quite sometimes before i run like this. four months? or half a year. either one. dashing like there are a sale somewhere out there. first girl in class but last in boys. doesnt want to lose to those guys but, who can win a guy rite? damn it.. hope that i had been training in the long holidays. regret
walked home from bedok interchange make me feel that everytime i took a bus, the 65cents(adult fare) is worth the money. dash through the express way with cars horning at me. thanks to hongyun n gang. and you! yes you! anggerek! yes! dont hide! i know you are reading this~ forgetful and blur! never return me the money. i treat this as a slimming lesson in anggerek hood & hongyun center. cost per session? o cents
trying hard to undestand what the monotoned teacher is trying to say, i failed. again. okie, i admit i suck in physic. but why must we still take science in ITE!!??
lessons
not really the first lesson but at least i learn something ever since i started school. but, circuit design rocks~! although i cannot really connect the wires correctly, but it is way too cool man~ love this course.. wonder why girls hate this course. but they are only five girls in my class. can you imagine that? i'm lucky that i am not the out casted girl. but seriously speaking, our guy are more hyper den the girls. and of course, more out going. the girls in my class were like so dead. feel like i am in the movie of house of the living dead 5. one girl even looked like she is gonna cry out anytime, anywhere. girl 2: always with a nerdy guy. seriously speaking, i dont really remember much of our class people name. i remember the name, forget the face. or the other way round. laugh
a trip to zoo
they were so tired that they slept through the whole mrt trip.doesnt care about wat the public sees. three sleep bugs and one book bug.
finally, we reached the entrance. a real one or..?
snapped..
just a reminder, peeing is not allow in pool..
is there food for me?
baabaa~~
zzz...
what is the different? the donkey or an ass? answer: Donkey=ass
squirrel caught in act
resting time~!! me and mikey
my prince charming?? (bai me wang zi) =>
how many human make up one polar bear??
class chalet
thought after the graduation we can gather for reunion. but frankly speaking, the chalet was a total failure. the only stupid chinese girl who went to that fucking chalet were kitmun, clarissa and me. and i really mean chinese girl.. not being an anti-social over here, but we felt out-casted and used. i think the only reason and purpose they invite us was to help them shoulder the fee of the chalet. the whole chalet we were sitting there rotting like no people business. on top of that, we have people accusing us of stealing his lousy phone, N70. dame it.. just because we went out during the class chalet doesnt give them the excuse to treat us like thieves. if cannot drink so much, dont drink. and when you are drunk, dont say people stole your phone when you are drunk. shit
somehow or other, i felt that everyone around me had changed. including me. i hate to hear from people about how people change and how i had change using that damn stupid watery and dreamy eyes. i had changed.. ya.. whatever.. *roll eyes.. of course people changed. come on! it is not like i am going to stuck forever in my old and childish character and child like body right? imagine a 18 years old girl with a height of 1.65m (ya.. that's me) bothering her mother for bring her to school and buying her sweets. or running around in the neighbourhood block playing block catching. people DO grow up. dont speak to me about how i used to be cheerful and fun loving.. i am still cheerful and fun loving ya? it is just depending on who i am with. if you are not fun loving, then pardon me for not being one.
being birth at 1988 december 14
17 years old is a boring age. why? cause unlike 16 years old which i get to watch nc 16 show, i cant watch m18 show. get it? (who will understand..) okie.. to put it simper, i cant watch m18 show yet.
i had to wait one more year (estimated) before i am 18 although i am born in 1988. damn.. if i had to sign my own starhub line or whatsoever, i had to wait like crazy.. what is the biggest regret? i had to wait till the end of year before i can go clubbing using my own i/c.
but what is the good point about being born at the end of year? you wont get sabotage by friends in school and you dont have to go to school on your birthday. laugh.
it is already the fourth day of a new year. dont really have any goal set yet and i am the only one floating in the middle of nowhere in 2006.
i had not been a nice girl for mum this year. instead of thanking her for bring me up and supplying me with lots of my favorite instant noodle and cash, i had let her down. coming home late and raising up my voice at her whenever i am feeling down. had a conflict with her just now and we ended up screaming at each other in the phone.
i had not been a nice girl for mum this year. instead of thanking her for bring me up and supplying me with lots of my favorite instant noodle and cash, i had let her down. coming home late and raising up my voice at her whenever i am feeling down. had a conflict with her just now and we ended up screaming at each other in the phone.
rebellious.
a new year
cut a new hair to start a new year. hopefully everything will go well in this year especially my o level result and relationship with my mum. not forgetting my friendship with my precious friends and colleague(if i can).
recalling the first day that i went to work at waraku. it use to be so enjoyable and looked forward to. now it seems to be a chore to even step out of house and travel there. when is it becoming like this? i wonder. i really missed those day when leah will say "tao yan~", tannie will speak to me with her fluent english, nang and phuy phuy will help me out whenever my pantry jammed. happiness and teamwork was what we had. it seems kinda weird to work without the presence of blenden, nang, phuy phuy, leah and tannie. incident about on-san add on to the resent towards watanabe-san and waraku..
the reason that i work lesser and lesser day? is because we are not as united as before. people do change i know. the feeling that i have now is beyond words can describe. not going for work for one month and what i see is new faces. is just like you were on a holiday to japan and came back to find that your family member had gone for plastic surgery. if i do have a chioce, i will rather not working in waraku. but do i have a chioce? answer: NO! i need cash and i work for the sake of working. hoping the day will pass as soon as possible so that i dont have to suffer. suffering the torture that i have to smile to customer regardless whether am i in a good mood. suffering the torture that i have to put on a mask everytime i work to colleague that i loathe, or even detest. call me hypocrite if you want. to survive is to be hypocritical, whether or not he/she is the person that you hate so much that you almost going to kill him/her.
finally i'm 17! went to the mind cafe on december 14. had so much fun playing "blackmail". cause audrey like to black mail people. hur hur hur~ hey people! if really had no place to slack with frens, can go the mind cafe. and slack and have a few rounds of board games. just 10 bucks from 2pm to 6pm and you get to eat a main dish, free flow of soft drinks and board game. cheap rite? the down hill? you have to book before going here as there are too many people going there. hey audrey! are you advertising for them? "camping" at weehong place until 7 plus. so fun! cause i can see the "loon" (other word for nerdy) side of mikey and kitmun. whaha~
just come back from work.. damn.. very very tired today. not because there was alot of customer. it's the OPPOSITE! so little customer today! OMG! thanx to yukari i'm doing the station today which=nothing to do. third time working with the newbie, tim. so boring. he is not as fun as desiree, jokable as yonglin, crappy as yuexiang and sociable as jovi. but he have the things that all four of them doesnt have. intiative, hard working and really quiet. (im not saying e rest not hard working. but tim is extra hardworking etc.) the only thing that we chat about is "......." (not forgeting the sound of cricket as background) with tim around, i feel like a fool cum useless waitress whom boss paid 7 dollar per hour to do nothing. and i will scared by him when working together with him. one thing, speaking ill about him when he suddenly came in. lolx. the major point? he floated instead of walking.. i CANT hear his footsteps!! this add on to the mystery and horror aura around him.
went out with kitmun, weilong annd justin on wednesday. on the way home jason called and both justin and weilong started to make disguesting sound like "jason~ jason~" make me so embarrass. i hope jason wont get the wrong idea about me having strange frens and stop calling me to work. -_- if i lost this job, i will know who to bash. *audrey mean it hur hur hur~!
i forget when and forget how,
loving someone from my heart.
to feel hollow,
to feel emptiness in my heart.
what did i missed
what did i desire?
the person whom i missed?
or person that i once loved?
maybe is the time that we first met.
where the time cant go back..
loving someone from my heart.
to feel hollow,
to feel emptiness in my heart.
what did i missed
what did i desire?
the person whom i missed?
or person that i once loved?
maybe is the time that we first met.
where the time cant go back..
working like i had never been working before. i think i am crazy. yes i am. i work in The Legend's banquet on the 3rd of december and i found out that waraku is the best job i had worked. minus off the irritating manager who keeps on messing up my ochà (green tea) order and someone who claim that we(the part timer) must respect her. -_-" i dont think that i weill respect someone who doesnt even noe how to respect herself and us. come to think of it, why my boss will hire someone like her? pardon me for being cruel.. but that's the truth imagine she is doing the room but end up doing jovi's pantry(station where drinks and dessert are made) order and mess her up. i understand that she was trying to help but please tell the ppl i/c that you had done the order.
other then the things mention on top, waraku is a great place to work and play in. i had to wear court shoes in banquet but not in waraku. that was the 1st time i try tt shoe on and it HURTS!! kitmun say because i did not "bite" e shoes tat's why it "bite" me. kinda rubbish but in some sense, ya.. -_-" i cant even concerntrate on my work because of that shoes. i hope tat's for the last time it "bite" me.
thanks to the two jobs i mention, i got a fever and a sore throat today.. -_-" why i always fell sick? damn.. anyone can recommend a good doc for me tt cure throat bleeding??!! it HURTS!
i'm afraid of the dark. especially when i'm alone. dont ever think of switching off the light in my bedroom when i'm awake. my mum had found a job recently that dont coordinate with my sleeping time. she went to bed at 1 smth but i only felt sleepy at 3.. she anti air condition but i'm the president of air condition fan club. how!? so wat we do is, we off the light and on the air condition. one stone kill two bird. then i realise something serious. i needed light more then air condition. i CANT fall alseep without light and darkness wake me up.. -_-" so in the end i went to bed at 3, i fall alseep at 4..
i tend to think alot of things when i cant see anything, lying on bed.. dwelling upon the past and wondering about my future. thinking about how me and my frens had change, thinking will we be back to wat we use to be, thinking will i be able to be in poly nxt year. shots of memories are flashing across my mind like movie film. drowning myself in tears. for the sake of? changing the fact?
whaha~ FINALLY!! the day had come!! sick and tired of the old routine i had been taking for eleven years. getting up at as early as 6 in the morning,
brush my teeth,
maybe had a quick shower,
iron my uniform,
eat my breakfast,
take a bus,
stay in the hot classroom for 2h,
recess,
stay for two hours,
go home,
sleep..
things as boring as this go on and on everyday and haunting me. i could even dream of myself waking up late and rush to school without taking my precious breakfast. omg.. sick.. well, although i admited that i did not go to sch 1 or 2 days in a week.. well, now all this nightmare is gone!! forever!! unless i retain..-_- touch wood i can do whatever i want to my uniform. yes, anything!! this include burning them, tearing them etc. whaha!! audrey with the evil look.
went to town just now. it's such a coincident to meet kelvin on the train. so i ask him along. we eat plastamania and triple chocolate. damn nice!! the ice cream is heavenly! and i change my clover keychain cause it broke.
brush my teeth,
maybe had a quick shower,
iron my uniform,
eat my breakfast,
take a bus,
stay in the hot classroom for 2h,
recess,
stay for two hours,
go home,
sleep..
things as boring as this go on and on everyday and haunting me. i could even dream of myself waking up late and rush to school without taking my precious breakfast. omg.. sick.. well, although i admited that i did not go to sch 1 or 2 days in a week.. well, now all this nightmare is gone!! forever!! unless i retain..-_- touch wood i can do whatever i want to my uniform. yes, anything!! this include burning them, tearing them etc. whaha!! audrey with the evil look.
went to town just now. it's such a coincident to meet kelvin on the train. so i ask him along. we eat plastamania and triple chocolate. damn nice!! the ice cream is heavenly! and i change my clover keychain cause it broke.
sri lanka.. conflicts.. venice..
2 pie r.. sin rule.. vectors..
6x10 to the power of 23.. molecular mass..
moments.. faraday's law.. alpha particles..
abc?
crap..
study have no use..
as if your boss will ask you to find out about triangle using sin rule.. wat's the use man? and does other country affect me? answer: NO! so why are we studying abt venice and sri lanka? not as if i'm going to miagrate there.. seriously speaking.. nobody would ever think of that.. and wat the hell!? why does it start with my year but not my sister's year? social study is of no use man. and do i recall TAMI MOHAN telling us that sri lanka is taken out of the syallus? answer: YES! but is it my illusion or the MOE mistaken that sri lanka is in the paper and worth 25 marks? yes! 25 marks! half of my paper! who says study everything abt venice like external and internal reason of fall except for trade? and is the question in the exam? sad to say but yes. wat's the use of scoring A1 for everything if i fail one?(i only have five sub)
i hope that 23 of november dun come so soon.. yap.. it's the first day of my holiday. but we still have to go bck school to check whether we had paid our school fee and library books not. which mean i had to pay 94 bucks.. and my bill is coming. maybe i should consider cutting off my line. to save $$. oh ya.. internet bill is due too. AH~!! die die die.. how i wish i am a millionair.
The same old storyline..
The same old character..
The same old lines..
I used to think all these are boring!
I used to think all these belonged to me.
I used to take things for granted..
If the time were to flow back,
I will think that all these are sweet..
I will treasure the time more..
I will hug you and say
“I’m sorry...”
but one will only treasure
when things are gone.Why do I only realize it now?
The same old character..
The same old lines..
I used to think all these are boring!
I used to think all these belonged to me.
I used to take things for granted..
If the time were to flow back,
I will think that all these are sweet..
I will treasure the time more..
I will hug you and say
“I’m sorry...”
but one will only treasure
when things are gone.Why do I only realize it now?
saturday bel ask me to go to a bbq gathering of her city harvest church. at first dun really want to go as someone also city harvest. heard that he is not going so i went. i used to thing that city harvest really sucky due to a large amount of people bombing my handphone last time. asking me to join city harvest. get really irritated by that. but then after going for that bbq, i thik that city harvest ppl can be really nice too! provided they dun force me to join city harvest. exclude the throwing people down event, the whole party or should i say gathering? went on smoothly. shar(the cell group leader) is nice and doesnt forcce me to join city harvest(out of expected for city harvest member). and they made me a card.
this is the front view of the card. but actually is vertical de.
this is the inside. written "dear audrey, we're Happy to get to know you! Hope that you have lots of fun today and join us many more times again!
love, your happy friends of N289 & N235"
interesting people.. well, but i wun get into city harvest. cause i dun like to have commitment. no offent overall, i enjoy myself.
happily buying all those white skirt, shoes ect, thinking that i might look great in all those, or even look like snow white.
but instead of looking like the graceful famous disney character, snow white, i look more like a penguin skating across the hall or a duckling wobbling on earth..
the pair of shoes i bought sure look great on my feet but fail in the comfort wise. why do women like to torture their feet so much? i rather stick with my comfortable sneakers or slipper. now my feet hurt like hell.. but ytd is fun and enjoyable minus off the pain on my feet.
went to onan road and have our first and last time dinner with my classmate. but dont really eat much cause there are lots and i really mean a lot! of flying ant around us. and some even bold enough to "sit" on my rice. you can oso see flying ants floating on top of the soup. yikes!!~ my hair on my hands, legs and watever, stand like it have never had. lihua, julia, kitmun and me just have to use "i'm full" as a excuse to leave the table. halfway through the strolling, mingyueh (who jux arrived) dragged kitmun back to the flying ant's nest. lolx! poor thing
photo session begin and all of us were taking pictures nope stop. tune in to my photo gallery for photoes nxt week! kitmun and jackson? cheewen appear in the picture he had not take? wat's going on??
meet up weilong, justin, kitmun, guanjie and chengyi after weilong's work. unlucky follows kitmun as we walk under a tree. head shot by a bird. understand? woowoh! enjoyment the whole day!
conclusion: un-forgetable day! high and super mega fun!
yeah!! finally last week is over! i had to live by five dollar last week. so pathetic. but finally, this week has come and i have $$ le! i get my tuition fee on sunday but i get it very difficultly. cause i am telling that china lady that day i'm surpose to get the pay as it is the 12th time i taght him already. but she replied in a very china tone (and of course in mandrian) "are you sure? really or not? i thought still have one more week to go?" hey.. come on larx.. will i want to cheat her money or not.. i just want to have what's belong to me.. so i take out my ca
lender which stated which day i came to teacher him(that little china boy). then she said "oh.. ya.." with a sour face (maybe she tought i never note it down or something) then went to take money. phew..
monday i did not go to school. in the morning study my QA which started on this coming thursday. at abt 230, i meet up my frens and go shopping on the things for graduation night. i have no choice but to buy a new skirt because we(my sister and i) dont have a skirt that is over knee length. all extremly short. my pay!! T_T it's gone again! bought a new white
shoes on that day. i like it a lot. but i think that kind of shoes i will not often wear out. then on tuesday, i bought a KNEE LENGTH skirt from wisma orchard. finally get everything that i needed.
lender which stated which day i came to teacher him(that little china boy). then she said "oh.. ya.." with a sour face (maybe she tought i never note it down or something) then went to take money. phew..monday i did not go to school. in the morning study my QA which started on this coming thursday. at abt 230, i meet up my frens and go shopping on the things for graduation night. i have no choice but to buy a new skirt because we(my sister and i) dont have a skirt that is over knee length. all extremly short. my pay!! T_T it's gone again! bought a new white
shoes on that day. i like it a lot. but i think that kind of shoes i will not often wear out. then on tuesday, i bought a KNEE LENGTH skirt from wisma orchard. finally get everything that i needed.
from time to time, i turned around.
hope to see you once.
disappointment is what i get
and sadness is how i feel.
is you i see,
is you i heard.
hope to see you once.
disappointment is what i get
and sadness is how i feel.
is you i see,
is you i heard.
is you i feel,
is you i think.
is you i miss,
is you i love.
second by second,
the time past.
day by day,
my scar grows.
is you i think.
is you i miss,
is you i love.
second by second,
the time past.
day by day,
my scar grows.
month by month,
my heart dispirited.
i wait no more,
and no more wait.
with grieved and begrudge,
i free myself.
my heart dispirited.
i wait no more,
and no more wait.
with grieved and begrudge,
i free myself.
hmm.. being "scolded" by my area manager on saturday.. partly thanks to somebody let's name her "G" who nv turn up for work for two days.. -_- and partly her fault that my salary was deducted twenty bucks.. -_- cause i ask G to help me tell my manager that i am unable to work full shift for sat(8 oct) on sat(1 oct), also to help me check my shift. but ended up to
get my scehedule only on wed(5 oct) and full shift.. -_- so i called G to ask why she doesnt help me tell my manager that i cant work and i get the reply as "huh!? you NEVER ask me to tell LOR!" audrey.. dun emphasis the word larx.. -_- so i got no choice but to ask her to replace me. and of course, plan rejected.and so, my pay is deducted and i work for 5 hour for 4 bucks.. poor thing well.. i'm at fault too for not asking her earlier when i didnt receive her sms.. it takes both hands to clap. but one should not lie too. you'll get what i meant. for ppl who are clever enough
get my scehedule only on wed(5 oct) and full shift.. -_- so i called G to ask why she doesnt help me tell my manager that i cant work and i get the reply as "huh!? you NEVER ask me to tell LOR!" audrey.. dun emphasis the word larx.. -_- so i got no choice but to ask her to replace me. and of course, plan rejected.and so, my pay is deducted and i work for 5 hour for 4 bucks.. poor thing well.. i'm at fault too for not asking her earlier when i didnt receive her sms.. it takes both hands to clap. but one should not lie too. you'll get what i meant. for ppl who are clever enough
all right.. another blow to me.. i am unable to use my phone for a few days.. so people who read this, dont bother to bomb my phone with tons of smses and calls when i did not reply. no one will do that silly! or shall i say no one will remember you!(lame..) should i say i'm bless now or shall i say the bad luck is going to follow me forever?? the bless is that, i dont have to entertain those UNWELCOME strangers or even UNWELCOME "friends" who wont even give me a break by bombing my poor phone with average of 20 smses per day and 100 over calls per day!! come on! give me a break man! dont you get it? if a person doesnt answer ur call or even reply ur sms, it means that he/she doesnt want you to disturb him/her! and i mean FOREVER!
and all thanks to that SOMEBODY! i dont even dare to pick up private calls. so people who had called me using private number, i'm sorry for not picking up ya phone.
yesterday went to tampines mall and brought a jacket. yeah!! finally! cause i aimed for that jacket for a long time le. and i manage to grap the last piece. went to watch corpse bride on the same day. i think that the movie was great. not many people will like that,though, cause it was in musical form. went back to waraku(where i work) to eat. ordered spicy ramen and become super mega big size ramen. whaha! so i divided it into three portion for lin and xiang. (not really in equall portion as i eaten most of it. whaha!) den sabo 'em by adding chili powder in their portion while they are working. evil audrey but they doesnt seems to notice it. plan failed..
friday got a big suprise from jackkson.. -_-" he cut his hair bald leaving his fridge and tail. like those little kid you see in china running around in the alley. so during the free period, a photo session is organised for him. lolx. feel like taking a scissors and cut off his fridge. whaha~
friday got a big suprise from jackkson.. -_-" he cut his hair bald leaving his fridge and tail. like those little kid you see in china running around in the alley. so during the free period, a photo session is organised for him. lolx. feel like taking a scissors and cut off his fridge. whaha~
Will I be able to find back everything that I have lost?
Will I be able to be like what I am in the past?
Will i..?
Time can heal almost everything but at the same time, changes almost everything. What had done can never be undone. Life is not like a game. We cant click on the undo button and replay it again. Neither can we save our life and replay again if anything get wrong. We cant.
