And yes, finally my nightmare with Alvin had ended for aboout 5 mths now. Or maybe more then that. I just cant seems to remember it clearly. As what most of the people says, you will only remember the bad times and not the good times well. Which is why i cant remember how long I had live without the presence of him. All seems like a dream to me. And its turning itself to a sweetdream now.
I miss the maggie mee he cook..
I miss how he hug me..
I miss how he hold me in his arm..
But ultimately, i miss my freedom before I am with him.
I dont want to leave where I am standing now. But then again, do i have a choice? Even if i do have a choice, do i have what it takes to protect what i want and the person I loved? Am I up to the standard I think I have?
i also recall one of my primary school mate telling me something about life, that we are always lacking something in our life: when we are young, we have youth, we have time, but we dont have money. when we are adult, we have youth, we have money, but we dont have time as we are working. when we became old, we have time, we have money, but we have no more youth to enjoy. after he said that, i am very much agree with it.
went to puiluan's birthday and after a few rounds of mahjong and poker, we decided to walk over to the nearby store and grap some drinks. and it seems like normal convenient store like econ or 7-11 doesnt sell tequila. like duh.. so we decided to settle on mild drinks like jim beam cola and some ulo brands that i didnt heard of. and trust me, the jim beam suck. by the time we finish our drinks and ben send us home, it's already 2 am. (dont feel like using the word "already", but i have no life after working office job..)
to make it even more worse by reaching home at 2am, i have to wake up at 8 in the morning the next day. alright.. i know i still can sleep for another 7 whole hours. but i need at least a 10 hours of sleep. (i admit i am pig)meet up with ite friends for gathering. well, actually it's not a gathering initially. but it somehow ended up like that. *audrey shrug. and i just feel tt if i have not go for it, none of the things would have happen. if people are unappreciated, let them be. it will just spoil your wonderful days by thinking about it and pondering about it.
after the gathering dinner, kx, eugene, shouxiang, kok, edric and me went to alph cafe for a 3 in 1 entertainment. soccer, ktv and drinks. lol. nice recommendation by kok. had a long island tea and sex on the alph (an imitation of sec on the beach but in cocktail size). small contradict about the long island tea. kok thinks that it taste like ice lemon tea, my our dear kx thinks it taste nothing at all like tea. "it's a mixture of all liquor!! eww~!" says kx. lol! back home at about 2 plus again. nobodies at home and i took out the leftover vodka to finish it. dang~ that's how the major hangover comes about. stupid. slept 4am, wakes up 6am.
P.S:
people who cant live their live without a lie in it is pathetic. i cant see why you have to lie about small matter. for the sake of fun? to make your life or story sounds more interesting? i really, really,really x infinite, hate people who tell different stories to different people. and why? what happen? why do you like every stuff tat we like when you are in front of us, but yet, in front of others, the things that you love became hate? oh, let me guess, to suit the different taste of others? you are such a bootlicker. you disgust me. and dont say i gave you attitude when you are the one who started all these crap and disgusting moves. and let me tell you something, dont say you have depression when you dont. stop being a drama queen and stop thinking that the world had owe you something. maybe you do have depression. that's why you like to think up so much stories. to think that you are an
unfortunate princess who falls into a world full of evil people and step sisters. you are such a joke. i never had anyone in my life that disgust me more then you do.
and please, dont piss people off and says that people are giving you attitude. and you thought that all the people have attitude problem. but have you ever thought that the person who have a attitude problem is you? i admit and i, myself have attitude problem. but i think you have both attitude and character problem. but then, i want to let you know,i dont hate you, i hate your moves. i really dont hate you, you just disgust me. that's all. =)
for me. i tolerate anything he scold me, his smoking habit and his suspicious behaviour of having another girl outside. and he just treated me like trash. i have nothing to say. and i have no more tears to shed. it's so tiring when we both know. we both know that this relationship wont work out. what are we holding on for? because he's too old to get another girlfried? he is too lazy to say the word break?
or is it just me? hoping him to change back what he once was, a perfect boyfriend. just like how i am holding on to the unfit ring he gave me. clinging on so tight. using so much energy to keep it loosing out. i have no more energy to do all this.. i am hurt all over. physically and mentaly. is there any float to hold on to?
hey, anyone? can anyone save me from this...?
anyway, after the big dream talk in my previous entry, i really think that dreams is a very unbelievable thing. almost all my friends are in the career industry now after graduated from tertiary school life. and of course, there are some who seek further study. and i find that all of us has gone into career that we least expect us to go. like for example me, i have change my job (yes, again), and working in a engineering company. yes! three cheers for bidding goodbye from long working hours, irregular meals, working on holidays & weekends, attitude customers and low leave days!
and cheers to kitmun who "take over" my dream to work as a nurse and work for almost 2 years. lol! the most unexpected friend who became a nurse. yes, the once so fierce and attitude kitmun. and she still is! and obviously, she, too, also never dream about being a nurse. jess, my primary school friend, became a property agent. and friend who became a gym instructor.
anyway, earning money is more important than dreams. so yea.
my blog have been dead for almost half a year. too busy to blog with my current job. and my laptop had been spoil ever since i quit my last job. the talk about buying a new laptop have been going on for months and i end up saving up for an oversea trip rather then getting a laptop.
time passes fast. and i had already graduated from secondary for more then 3 years. realising it only when i finally able to go for my break time, sitting on a toilet bowl in the toilet cubicle. thinking about how all of us had been talking about our future, our ambition, our dream & career. but when now is the future that we had been talking about since young, is this the future we talked about and dreamed about? i remember i once wrote about a composition in mother tounge class. the topic is "ambition". and i wrote about how i wanted to become a nurse(no kidding!. but now,i am a gradute engineer and i am a sales assistence in a store that name is not even under me. is this wat a dream is all about? but of course, when i grow up, being a nurse is not my dream anymore. as working under government, having shift work and fighting off virus at front line is not included in my so call dreams. lol. but working as a sales assistence? never in my dream before.
but.. boowoo for leaving my best working mate in suntec. sob.. T.T the one and only reason that keep me working in this lousy environment(apart from the salary).. and i am so gonna miss tingyun for all the good food that i had eaten with her. argh.. and lynn for telling me all those exciting stories. jasmine for complaining all the customers with me. jayner for given me fashion site to surf and aunty annie for all those life stories. lol. argh.. miss them miss them miss them!! expecially the food part. lol!! i am so gonna bored-to-death at my new working place with them.
sign.. goodbye suntec, goodbye all working mates, goodbye all the good foods...
bad boss, bad pay, bad job.. recently i have been thinking, should i find a job that has more prominent and bright future job. a more stable and more regular timing job. ARGH! just any job that is better than this. i start to consider whether i should work office job but.. just the thought of sitting there staring at the computor the whole day, make me feel sick. making money is never an easy job(unless you work for the government, printing money..), but finding a job that one like and suitable is harder than i thought.
from top left - the fabulous fried omelette noodle from takahimaya basement one! pros: it's added with cheese on top and some common ketchup. normal but a fabulous combination of sauce. cons: it does not provide any seats for consumers and it's quite messy to eat.
what else to say? the "famous, everyone knew it" mcdonald's. located almost everywhere in singapore. pros: it's fast to buy, fast to eat and easily consume almost anywhere without any seats. cons: IT'S JUST SO SICK TO EAT THE SAME THING EVERYTIME.
third photo to sixth - tonkatsu ramen, teriyaki bento, chawanmushi and potato salad from MOF located at suntec basement 1. pros: good taste for first timer on japanese food. cons: just not that nice for people who savours almost all japanese food like me.
long john silver. my classic favourite fast food located also almost anywhere. pros: it's so nice and crunchy. just love it. love the tender chicken. love their season ice lemon tea. love their crunchy on the outside and soft in the inside fries.conclusion? just love it. cons:it's so oily and it make me grow fat. but who care as long as the food is nice rite? lol.
last two pictures - tempura mushroom and mushroom soup from The machè vivocity. pros: the fried to perfection mushroom top with lemon juice(optional) combine with the all uses tar tar sauces. the taste is so perfect for the mushroom. the soup is cooked by melting mushroom. so all u will be tasting is mushrooms. not like the mushroom soup with white base, it's brown in colour. so expect the chief to cook it with all mushrooms. cons: hmm.. it's just so.. fried mushroom? not as special as i thought it will be.
why people just love to take their photo in a public toilet? answer: just adore that lighting effect and their super mega big size full length mirror. well, at lest i am one of them who adore taking my picture in the toilet. lol. apart from the full length missor that they have, i love their multi mirror which i can use to adjust my camera view. (my camera phone does not have a front camera. lol)
anyway, these photos are taken after putting on kerxing's make up. go with her navy friend and slack in hush hush till late.
went to changi airport and eat and saw this urn shape fountain. retarded us start posing in front of it with foreigners.
take and run on act. it's a "no taking photo" store. lol. first two photo are taken in "the otaku's house" located at suntec city. last two is taken at the suntec branch's toys'r'us.
featuring the "retarded 2" by Audrey and Alvin. continued their journey with their retard act. props sponsor by mumu in suntec.
precious thot! aww.. i so wanted to touch it. and yes! i saw that car in singapore skyper's carpark. mom? can i have it? can i can i?
christmas decorations in vivo and marina square.the reindeer look more like a buffalo to me. lol!!
first photo taken when i saw kitmun getting down form her block. hur hur hur, stalker audrey. and continue with eating in a mache look-alike japanese restaruant. the food there is so so sooo nice!! *audrey drool.
the atmosphere there is good too. and i really wanted to try all the food there in one day.. damn it, shoulden have eat before going there. spend about thirty bucks in there.
the mochi photo taking sessions. lol. photographed by the self proclaim "oh-so-famous" photographer Audrey and Kitmun.
aww.. dun we just love the photo sessions in the toilet? never mind, just let those guys wait. (now we all know ahy the girls took so long in the damn toilet.)
a little role explaination before moving on:
top left to right:simei as little devil, derrick as reaper, dan as dracula, night safari guy as dracula no. 2, jason as scream.
bottom left to right:kerxing as japanese kimono girl, me as pirate.
just have time to check my mail and the halloween pictures are out. yeah!! audrey did a happy dance! on the 25th october, kerxing, dan, jason, derrick, simin and i went to the night safari for their early halloween night. we went there all dress up to realise in shock that we're the only visitors that are so crazy into this thing.. -_- oh well.. this is singapore. what to expect? not all singaporean are as enthusiatic as us. what to do? just enjoy the night! jason the scream is so busy taking photo once he reach the zoo. lol. guess scream is the most in thing at halloween *audrey the pirate weeped. let's let the pictures do all the talking now.
the legendary batman car. (parked at beach road??!!)
taken with the crew member at night safari. the lady in red is sooo scary.
taking a photo before going on the journey.
all black and one red.
pirate bullying the kimono girl. hur hur hur
scream lost to a...pirate..?
bridge of hell! a road of no return~!!!
how many toilet roll did he use??!!
group photo with a crew.. the poison ivy. is "she" a he or she?
dont sneak up on me! ar bish!
that baby boy is so adorable! and he smell nice too.. yum. lol!
aye mate! ya a pilot? me a pirate!
!!?? kerxing!! keRXING!what's tt thing coming up at you!!
*this is the last day we saw kerxing. lol. (kidding)
if you ask other's to get it for you, dont hurry that someone.
if you hurried that someone, dont expect him/her to face you with a smile.
if you expect him/her to face you with a smile, dont be ungrateful to the things
he/her did. cause THAT someone is not your errand boy. and he/her did not get paid to do all these stuff for you. receive it with thanks and not with a ungrateful
face. no one owns you anything in this world and neither do we. so dont give me that
attitude face of your's. i dont take it.
rest in peace, camera, you will be remembered by me always.
R.I.P
here lies the body of audrey's camera
year 2006~2008
lack shopping, lack in nutritent, lack in time..
why do all the people getting hurt from it?
if love is a suffering,
why do all people desire it?
in order to be blessed and free of suffering is to be someone who dont need them.
One must learn how to let go.
One must learn how to move on.
One must never let the past to bother you.
golden rules that i kept telling others. but why cant i do the same? i am tryin hard to move on. i feel like i am swimming in a sea of cement. i have to keep swimming so that i wont stuck in it. but as the time goes by, it started to be more and more tedious. no idea when will it dry up. should i stop swimming?
manage to recover two picture during my reformatting..
why is it so hard to savage this? is there really nothing i could do? or is there anything i CAN do? why is it draining off all my energy without me noticing? it is hard to savage. but it is harder to abandon it.
i hate all this. really hated it. hate my mask, hate myself, hate to put on a smile to everyone, hate to put up a strong front, hate being optimistic, hate the cheerful me, hate the long hair me, hate mine everything. just hate it. ever waking up in the morning thinking who you really are? i am sick and tired of being what people wanted me to be. i just want to be myself for one second. just want to be my cry baby self. just want to cry out loud. just want to throw tantrum. i just need someone who are willing to listen to all this. someone who accept me for who i am. not who they want me to be.
this blog is for someone who doest treat my beloved friend as friends. and for people who doest cherish what they have. people who dont behave like human doesnt fit to be treated like one.
have you ever eaten 3 stick of satay for ten bucks? i do..
and is a little(is very can!?) messy on the table. papers and all around. simplex.. duplex.. FM.. AM.. PM.. OSI.. arg..! oh fuck! cannot get in.. so gonna die.. well well.. did some noble man said that besties will tide you over whatever hardship you had? (alright.. i really want to meet that noble man..)
and hopefully we will remember the so call date in 2009.
why is it so hard to maintain the friendster between us? i never know maintaining this friendship is so hard and tiring. i feel like giving up. i tried and tried to do anything that can help. but it doesnt work. in fact, it is getting worse. damn it. i so piss off. i am giving up now. stop asking me why. whatever i do, it does not help at all. i feel like i sm the only side that are maintaining this. fuck.. i am wasting my time. all this are only one sided. if he doesnt care, why should i? shut up and buzz off. i hate the sight of you and it is irritating me. just fuck off!
okie.. i am tired. let the photo do all e talking ya? we went to laguna and have fun!
is she fren? or is she trying to drown her?
answer: best fren~!
striaght out of the movie?
celebrating my birthday at changi and waraku!
and of course, during my normal schooling days.
outing with my schoolmate.
and damn it. it is already 5:13am in the morning. i had beed re-doing this blog for several times due to the poor connection of my neighbour. (shh.. i am stealing internet access from next door. hurhurhur~ *evil laghter)
article about the disease boresome
there are some of the death's picture. picture below may bring indispose. children are advise to watch with their parents.
but now, the cure of this disease had been found. with the help of sequence photo shot and a normal camera phone, people in NC0604D dare to step into the class even with Mr John Yip in.
reported by: audrey
they were so tired that they slept through the whole mrt trip.doesnt care about wat the public sees. three sleep bugs and one book bug.
finally, we reached the entrance. a real one or..?
snapped..
just a reminder, peeing is not allow in pool..
is there food for me?
baabaa~~
zzz...
what is the different? the donkey or an ass? answer: Donkey=ass
squirrel caught in act
resting time~!! me and mikey
my prince charming?? (bai me wang zi) =>
how many human make up one polar bear??